Our Old Home

We're back from the beach. Two full days of enjoying the sun and sand. Two full days of trying to be a normal family without the thoughts of chemo, hospitals, doctors, brusies, counts or fevers run through our mind. Of course all of those things did race through our minds, but we didn't let it stop us. We had a beautiful oceanfront room. We could open the door to the patio and listen to the ocean. It was relaxing and we enjoyed every minute. Now, it's back to reality.

Monday is a day that already has me sweating. Methotrexate is a word I dispise. Most of you have no idea what that word is. Count yourself lucky. Joshua will recieve high dose methotrexate on Monday and it will be awful. I pray that now that he is older it won't be as bad but he will get it four times over the next few months. Then, he'll get it four more times a few months after that. It is the one chemo that he does not tolerate very well. It's the one that I could just rip off of the iv pole, through it against the wall, spit on it and scream at it. Yes, I wish I could do that to all of them but a little more with this one since I can see the visual signs of its existance. Vincristine (the one that causes him leg pain) is starting to work its way into that catagory as well. We won't see that drug again for a few more weeks though.

So, we are sucking in all the moments this week and weekend that we can. We are preparing for lock down and hospital stays. It's so nice to have Joshua be able to ride is "whee wheeler" or climb on the brown park with Adam and Noah. And as much as it drives me crazy it's wonderful to hear him ask for yet something else to eat. We've been trying to pump him up lately and he is now a big fan of milkshakes. I'm hoping if he gets to the point where he can't eat, that milkshakes will save the day.